The Aging Intelligence Test

How’s your aging intelligence? Take the following test here and determine if you are losing it or are still “with it.”

1. What do you put in a toaster?

The answer is “bread.” If you said “toast,” then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, “bread,” go to Question 2.

2. Say “silk” five times. Now spell “silk.” What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said “milk,” please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as “Children’s World.” If you said, “water” then proceed to Question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said “green bricks,” what are you still doing here reading these questions?? If you said “glass,” then go on to Question 4.

4. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer: One degree. If you said “360 degrees” or anything other than “one degree,” you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.

5. Without using a calculator – You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales.

In London, 17 people get on the bus.

In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on.

In Swindon, two people get off and four get on.

In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.

In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on.

In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on.

You then arrive at Milford Haven.

What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don’t you remember? It was YOU!

A Short Quiz

Schwartzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn’t have one.

The Pope has one but doesn’t use his.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

George Burns’ was hot.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

We never saw Lucy use Desi’s.

What is it?

ANSWER: A Last Name

Cake Personality Test

If you were buying a cake and you had your choice of the following, which would you choose:

• Angel Food
• Brownies
• Lemon Meringue
• Vanilla with Chocolate Icing
• Strawberry Short Cake
• Chocolate on Chocolate
• Ice Cream
• Carrot Cake

You can’t change your mind once you scroll down So think carefully, what your choice will be!

OK – Now that you’ve made your choice, this is what research says about you:

• Angel Food – Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being child-like and immature at times.
• Brownies – You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.
• Lemon Meringue – Smooth, sexy, and articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don’t try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends.
• Vanilla with Chocolate Icing – Fun-loving, sassy, humorous. Not very grounded in life, very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad, however, you are a friend for life.
• Strawberry Short Cake – Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt. You can be overly-emotional and annoying at times.
• Chocolate on Chocolate – Sexy, always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.
• Ice Cream – You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don’t like to give up the remote control. You tend to be
  self-centered and high maintenance.
• Carrot Cake – You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

The Quiz for People Who Know Everything

1. There’s one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. What is it?
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. At noon and midnight the hour and minute hands are exactly coincident with each other. How many other times between noon and midnight do the hour and minute hands cross?
5. What is the only sport in which the ball is always in the possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball?
6. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
7. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn’t been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
8. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters “dw.” They are all common. Name two of them.
9. There are fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name half of them?
10. Where are the lakes that are referred to in the “Los Angeles Lakers?”
11. There are seven ways a baseball player can legally reach first base without getting a hit. Taking a base on balls — a walk — is one way. Name the other six.
12. It’s the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh. What is it?
13. How is it possible for a pitcher to make four or more strikeouts in one inning?
14. Name six or more things that you can wear on your feet, that begin with the letter “s.”

ANSWERS BELOW
————————————————————————

** ANSWERS TO QUIZ **

1. Boxing.
2. Niagara Falls. The rim is worn down about 2 and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.
3. Asparagus and rhubarb.
4. Ten times (not eleven, as most people seem to think, if you do not believe it, try it with your watch, it is only 10 times).
5. Baseball.
6. Strawberry.
7. The pear grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the whole growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
8. Dwarf, dwell, and dwindle.
9. Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
10. In Minnesota. The team was originally known as the Minneapolis Lakers, and kept the name when they moved west.
11. Batter hit by a pitch; passed ball; catcher interference; catcher drops third strike; fielder’s choice; and being designated as a pinch runner.
12. Lettuce.
13. If the catcher drops a called third strike, and doesn’t throw the batter out at first base, the runner is safe.
14. Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, snowshoes, stockings, and so on.