What Movies Teach Us

• Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people–whether they’re employed or not.
• At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
• Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
• It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts–your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
• When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
• Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
• During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
• Most dogs are immortal.
• All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
• It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
• The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
• You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
• The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
• A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
• It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
• Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
• All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
• A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
• If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
• When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
• Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

Battery Pours Electricity Into Non-Conductor

“I wonder how a battery feels when it pours electricity into a non-conductor?” – Sherlock Holmes

The Same Mistake Once

“We must anticipate, and not make the same mistake once.” – Captain Jean Luc Picard

Family Feud Answers

Here are some actual answers from contestants who have appeared on the game show Family Feud:

• Name something a blind person might use: a sword
• Name a song with moon in the title: blue suede moon
• Name a bird with a long neck: a penguin
• Name an occupation where you need a torch: a burglar
• Name a famous brother and sister: Bonnie and Clyde
• Name a dangerous race: the Arabs
• Name an item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers: a horse
• Name something that floats in the bath: water
• Name something you wear on the beach: a deck chair
• Name something red: my cardigan
• Name a famous cowboy: Buck Rogers
• Name a famous royal: mail
• Name a number you have to memorize: 7
• Name something you do before going to bed: sleep
• Name something you put on walls: roofs
• Name something in the garden that’s green: a scarecrow
• Name something that flies that doesn’t have an engine: dishes
• Name something you might be allergic to: skiing
• Name a famous bridge: the bridge over troubled waters
• Name something a cat does: goes to the toilet
• Name a continent: Italy
• Name something you do in the bathroom: decorate
• Name an animal you might see at the zoo: a dog
• Name something associated with the police: pigs
• Name a sign of the zodiac: April
• Name something slippery: a con man
• Name a kind of ache: a pancake
• Name a food that can be brown or white: potato
• Name a potato topping: jam
• Name a famous Scotsman: Jock
• Another famous Scotsman: Vinnie Jones
• Name something with a hole in it: window
• Name a non living object with legs: plant
• Name a domestic animal: leopard
• Name a part of the body beginning with ‘N’: knee
• Name a way of cooking fish: cod
• Name something you open other than a door: your bowels
• Name something you clean: your sister